Think twice before getting married today

We have a human nature, unchanging and unchangeable, and marriage is born of this human nature. Marriage is not a social construction. It is within the respective natures of man and woman to be drawn to each other to form a long-term, mutually supportive union, that is recognised by their tribe. This union is the fount of humanity and the building block of said tribe. Or the people if you prefer. This is natural marriage. It has been recognised as such by virtually all peoples in all ages, and it always will be.

However, man’s vastly expanded understanding of nature in the modern age (think the Scientific Revolution) and the extraordinary wealth this has produced (think the Industrial Revolution) has allowed him to imagine that human nature is mutable or at least not a limiting factor, and has given him the resources to let his imagination run wild and to experiment with new paradigms, the ideology of Feminism being the greatest example of modern man’s disregard for common sense in his determination to have his cake and eat it too.

While natural marriage is born of human nature, marriage as an institution will vary from age to age and people to people. In our culture our ancestors bequeathed to us a tradition of marriage that bound a single man to a single woman, for life, until the death of one of them. I would say that this is the highest and best form of natural marriage.

Monogamy is indeed extraordinarily restrictive considering the power of the sexual impulse in particular and the long time-frame involved. But being that we want what we want, will have it if we can, and are rather shortsighted, we’ll rework things to suit us if we can. And thus with a wave of his corpulent hand modern man has redefined marriage. But you might as well redefine the direction of ‘up.’

For an age monogamous marriage had been supported by both the state and the culture. The result was that marriage was akin to living in a spaceship in outer space. You were just a little trapped together. But this helped the great majority of couples to get through the tough times, though for some it meant that they were, in fact, just trapped. And fifty years is a long time to live in a trap.

But today marriage is akin to standing inside a hula-hoop together on dry land surrounded by a cheering crowd rooting for you to just step out of the hula-hoop and be free.

So today’s young people need to be vastly more circumspect before entering into this natural union than those of yesteryear. That is, assuming that today’s young couple understands the significance of marriage, and do not see it as just formal dating, or an excuse to have a big party where you get to dress up in a tux and white dress and be the centre of attention for a day.

To those young people that do understand the extreme importance of marriage, allow me to propose the following unbreakable rules…

  1. Be prepared to be a good husband and choose a bride who is prepared to be a good wife.
  2. Be prepared to be a good wife, and choose a groom who is prepared to be a good husband.
  3. Marry someone with whom you can become friends.

A pretty good ‘ol boy and decent ‘ol girl who by and large enjoy each other’s company most of the time will, in fact, be the wind beneath each other’s wings. They will each be the canoe in which the other rests as together they navigate the oft choppy waters of life together.

But any couple throughout all of history that has not been able to check all three of these boxes has guaranteed that the inevitable trials of marriage will be compounded. But in this day and age if you dont check all three, then the chances of your marriage ending with a funeral are slim, and the chances of your union being a source of heartbreak and sadness, especially for your lil’ wee bairns, is all too high.

M.C. Atkins

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